Tested

When I think of faith being tested, I rarely think of my own faith being tested. I mean, I am a Christian, I believe, that alone should be enough. As I have journeyed through my twenties I learned that claiming Christianity isn't enough. It's like a baby saying, "I'm born. Isn't that enough?" As I look back on it, I see its a great start. It's the best start. It's not like claiming Christianity isn't enough. It's the fact there is so much more that could be experienced.

Let me explain it this way:
when my husband and I married, I would have preferred that we started out debt free. We didn't.  The experience of working together to get out of debt, is what helped us learn to work as a team. This experience was not an easy, smooth or simple process. It brought us to the edge of what our marriage could take. However, we wouldn't have experienced the troubles or the triumph together, without first pledging our love to each other in marriage. Our wedding began our life together. Our wedding was a great start. Our wedding isn't what taught us how to work together. Our marriage was tested, from the beginning. Would we be able to overcome? Or would we be broken by life's experiences as a married couple?

Being a Christian is a similar experience. How will I know the depth of God's love for me, if I don't have experiences that break my heart? How will I learn to trust Him completely, if I always have other people who will bail me out of problems? I'm not saying I like heartbreak and loneliness, its just been my burden to bear. Other people have other burdens that either bring them to their knees, or break their faith completely. I have heard this verse throughout my life, but it just sank in this morning: "For the time has come for judgment, and it must begin with God's household"(1 Peter 4:17). I get it now. When God has a plan for the world, He starts with His people, and He tests them.  Having experienced life as an adult, I don't think God expects His people to necessarily "get it" the first time. Like Jonah, He will come after us until we find the right path and follow His plan to completion. God's will is perfect, but He has imperfect followers, who have a tendency to bungle things up badly. This is why I am so thankful for forgiveness. I need it so often. And a fresh start. I am willing to do His will, just often confused as to what His will means.


When HomePage started over a decade ago, the mission involved relationships. In fact our mission statement starts with "restoring relationships between God and man." An ambitious undertaking for sure. However, after several years, it didn't seem like "restoring relationships" between anybody was actually occurring. To understand what is happening often takes time. Sometimes I will think to myself "in ten years this experience might make sense." Like a great philosopher once said "You live life looking forward, you understand it looking backward." Moments like today are when I understand what happened. If as a church body you are going to try something that no one else has tried, you will be tested first. Let me repeat myself: YOU WILL BE TESTED FIRST!! If your mission is to restore relationships, guess what? Your relationships will be tested first. It's easy to think that the testing, and the failures along the way are the end of the story.
Failure is only the end of the story, if you let it be the end of the story. Failure is only a chapter in the story. Multiple failures are only different portions of the story. God, however, doesn't seem to have a problem with having a lot of Jonahs for help.  If I let God tell the story of my testing, He has His own plan. From the story of Job, a man whose testing of faith brought him  face-to-face with the decision of whether to choose life or death, understood being tested. Job faithfully stated "But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold"(Job 23:10). That is our promise too. In fact over the last several years, I have watched as relationships are restored between people and with God. A church experience that might have been labeled a failure, has found its way and is blessing others. It's an amazing experience to participate in! My life is enriched and blessed by this group of people!!

God knows our desire to serve and worship Him. Since testing begins at the House of God, we know it can't be avoided. Failure oftentimes cannot be avoided either. How else would we learn? What we can understand is by maintaining our devotion to Him during the time of testing, our faith will be purified, and we will come forth like gold, pure gold.

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