Comforted like Job

"In the world you will have trouble, but I'm leaving you my peace
That where I am, there you may also be" Rich Mullins.


I find the story of Job a great comfort. There was a time in my life when it seemed like all would be lost. Relationships..... gone. Financial support....... gone. Emotions reeling from all of the losses. Spiritually drained - exceeding hopelessness, and an uncertain future. My emotions in a place of constant change as well, dealing with uncertainty and fear of the future. Honestly though, I am glad that I didn't know that there would be even more painful losses in the future...however, that is for a different time, if I ever figure out how to tell that story.   

Why did I experience such loss in my younger days?

I believe that when we experience such devastating losses, there are two choices that we have to make:

1. Attempt to take control
2. Learn to become flexible

An attempt to take control over life is to give into the fear of loss and instead of embracing the new opportunities, to seek out a way to never feel such grief again. There are so many ways that losses are experienced, divorce (parents and/or personal), emotional cut-off, job loss, loss of a family member or friend, moving and so many more things,  The problem with taking control, is that in order to maintain control over relationships,  life and God, your emotional and relational world must become smaller and smaller. Why? Because relationships, life and God are unpredictable. So an attempt to control life, usually results in few people able to meet the "tests" and exceeding demands a person attempting to control can manage. Relational burnout occurs, and other people move into to replace those who can no longer emotionally support an individual in such desperate need of control. However, that control is comforting, it feels like protection and action against future losses. So I can understand why someone would choose this journey.

I like this verse in Job. I think it answers well the attempts to control God's actions in my life. "Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? He who rebukes God, let him answer it" (Job 40:2 NKJV). I am not saying that we must not question God. I am saying that when we do question God, the conversation gets real pretty fast.

The second option - learning to become flexible - is what I have sought most of my life in response to loss and grief. One of  my spiritual mentors is Paula Rinehart. Her book Strong Women, Soft Hearts, is a book that is well loved, bent, taped together, and always an inspiration no matter how many times I have read it.

Paula Rinehartsays "we meander through life, and somewhere along the way, pain enters our lives and leaves an indelible mark, as though it has actually been stamped on our passports. My point is that eventually pain does get stamped on your passport. No matter how hard you work to avoid it, pain makes its appearance; and the hardest part to accept, sometimes, is its inevitability" (Strong Women, Soft Hearts, 42-43).

Why do I choose to be flexible? Once again I am inspired by Paula Rinehart:

Exquisite pain that love is, it is forever interwoven with the risk of offering your heart to another person, who sometimes tramps all over it. Love anything....and your heart will be wrung. The more you succeed at love, the more you will have to lose. But honestly, would playing it safe and hedging your bets take you any place you really wanted to be? (Strong Women, Soft Hearts 158).

With flexibility my life, my heart, my home is enlarged. I have more blessings in my life and I have more opportunities for my future. Having made the choices I have, I cannot imagine living my life in a small spiritual box, or in a small relational box because I must have control over my life. My constant prayer is that I can accept the losses in my life, grieve the losses in my life, without taking them out on my husband, friends and family, and allow God to create beauty out of those losses.

I don't know why I must experience loss. I don't know why my family and friends must experience loss other than the fact that there is sin in the world. I do know that as I work through different losses, and give my future to God, that I am more content then I have ever been. Looking back at the story of Job, the ending is quite unexpected. Job responded to the rebuke from God by saying "I have uttered what i did not understand. Things too wonderful for which I did not understand" (Job 42:3). Out of Job's losses, losses so devastating I cannot understand, Job was  blessed, "now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job, more than his beginning"(Job 42:12).

I think that if you choose to be flexible and deal with life as it comes, with prayer and thanksgiving, you will find the blessings, because you will be looking for them.