Lovin' me some feedback

I love a good ole' honest conversation. Some of my closest and most valued friends, are those who rarely "sugar coat" what is happening around us, and say exactly what they are thinking. Why do I love a conversation that can sometimes be like a blast of cold air to my reality? Because I never have to guess if they are telling me the truth  Success or failure, I know where I stand.

When I first started my career, I had pretty thin skin and accepting feedback was a difficult thing to do. I remember saying to one Supervisor, after several different visits to my work area to provide me with feedback,  "What did I do now?" when he came over to talk to me. Yes, receiving feedback can be very discouraging.

As I have developed my career in working with people, I have discovered that I couldn't do my job well, unless I receive feedback. Sometimes people don't know how to tell me "no." Its too overwhelming  to actually use the word "no" and tell me they aren't interested, and some might agree to lots of services, they have no intention of following through on. Me in my zealous attempts to help, have had to learn to temper my statements with "what do you think?" and "Are you interested?" and "take some time to think about it, and I will get back to you.  Just let me know either way what you want." It saves time and energy on both sides to have the honest conversation of whether a family or individual actually want help. Often is the case as well, that a family or individual doesn't share when they are happy with assistance either.Asking questions and seeking feedback from the quieter, satisfied clients, helps me to know what I am doing that is helpful for their family/situation.

I have learned to seek out feedback... much like the use of Active Sonar on a submarine to navigate underwater, seeking out feedback can help navigate relationships. By using feedback, positive and negative, to adjust to the preferences of a family member, friend, or spouse, is showing that the other's opinion is valued. The best part about it (its a sickness, I know :) is that it helps me to see where my strengths are in my professional skills, interpersonal skills, and even personality, and also where my weaknesses are. Be wary of constant positive feedback ( you might appear unable to handle negative feedback) and also be wary of constant negative feedback ( this could be emotional, or spiritual abuse).