excerpt of article I am working on.....

Spiritual abuse occurs when a congregation of believers focuses primarily on performance of others, when individuals instead of worrying about their own relationship with God, their spouse and family members, worry about the spiritual behaviors of other people. A church focused on individual performance creates anxiety and fear in its members, for if you don’t measure up in this group, there might be eternal consequences.Spiritual Abuse can include:
Out loud shaming – What’s wrong with you?

Focus on performance – love and acceptance is earned by doing or not doing certain things

Manipulation – What people think of us is more important than what is happening.

Idolatry – An impossible to please “god” who is obsessed over people’s behaviors from distance.

Preoccupation with fault and blame – people have to pay for their mistakes.

having to deny thoughts, opinions or feelings different from those in authority.

Unbalanced interrelatedness – either under (neglect) or over (enmeshment) involvement in the lives of others. Everyone is responsible for everyone else, while ironically no one is responsible for himself or herself. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

A church congregation that shows through its actions it is “a shelter in the storm” will be a group of people who show love to one another, comfort each other during trying times, rejoice during happy times, and encourage one another in their daily walk with Christ, casting aside comments full of shame, and focus on meeting each other’s needs, and relying on God for the resolution.