He will turn the hearts of the Fathers.

Micah 4:6
He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.....


"More than half of all births to women under thirty are outside of marriage" (Life without Children 2008). I already blogged this week on research regarding the stability of marriage from "The State of our Unions 2007." This next paper has taken me a lot of time to think about and process. "Life without Children" discusses the changing attitude in the United States towards children. This is partially due to increased longevity and the fact that couples marry later, have fewer children, and so fewer years of their life are devoted to child-rearing. However, when you hear my Dad talk, he thinks parenting goes on until we turn 40. What I do know is that being an adult-child is weird. There are still familial expectations, respect must be given, and advice carefully considered, but the person responsible for me now, is me. Back to the subject at hand....

"Parenthood today is seen more as a lifestyle choice, then an expectation, and in fact what it takes to raise children is almost opposite of what is popularly defines a satisfying adult life" and in fact it costs less money for a couple to have a nice vehicle, travel to warm sunny beaches, and buy nice clothes than it costs to raise a child. So I am guessing that the thought processes focus on why give up luxury, for sleep deprivation, constant demands, and two year old temper tantrums that start all over again when a child reaches their teens. Its interesting reading this given that a major focus in my life has been learning about children, learning about development, and helping children with mental illness and children in crisis. I believed when I started this journey 10 years ago (how can it possibly be 10+ years already?) that children are our greatest treasures, and I believe that even more today. However when stories like the following are told, it can raise serious questions: " A New York Times letter  "I am sick of having my world revolve around the aesthetics and concerns of a 6-year old. Its up to parents to parent, and I for one want no part in doing their job." So when I have questions about the true value of children - I look to the source of truth and see what was said:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
(Psalms 127:3-5 ESV)

He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!
(Psalms 113:9 Holy Bible ESV)

But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, “‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise’?”
(Matthew 21:15-16 ESV)

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
(Matthew 18:2-6 ESV)
Children to me provide (well-behaved children) are a true joy to be around, their innocence healing, their curiosity insatiable ( I love the why questions of a five-year old), and their first experiences of the world helps to lift away a little of the callouses that I develop on my heart. I choose to be someone with children in my life - to be mentored by them, and maybe by the grace of God I can mentor one or two of them along the way.
 I will continue my life-long passion of working with children, and for their families, to provide support, knowledge and a companion along a difficult journey. I also hope to join the brigade of parents ( now considered a special interest group, instead of a defining policy group) who are raising children - because for me life without children is empty, sad, and sounds like the echoes of a closed building, with nothing but memories to keep it warm.  It is sad to me that life without children would be considered something to strive for, that hearts are being turned away from children, away from their needs, away from their love, and in the end turned away from their hearts. Maybe that looks a lot like abortion, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, neglect, and drug/substance abuse. If that is the case, it looks a lot like now.